Not that much, really. I can speak to groups, read from my works, sign books, sell books and scarf up all the expensive smoked salmon you bought for the real guests.Really fast. I mean you won't even see me do it, which I guess qualifies it as a magic trick.
So I also do magic tricks.
Awesome testimonials from people who I most certainly do not have, embarassing, even felonious pictures of.
I do not know Lane Filler the fat and happy, gainfully employed, doting father and loving husband. The Lane Filler I know is a terrifying boy who lurks by the playground fence. His whole body is built from pipe cleaners -- not just thin, but strong. His glasses are much, much too thick for someone so young. It's like he scalded his eyes reading forbidden books and Playboys (which he probably did). He knows the meaning of every curse word two years before anyone else and he will make you feel like crawling into a hole and dying if you cough while trying to French inhale one of the Kools you snagged from your Mom's purse. And my God, is he funny.